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Daily Show correspondent Michael Che tries to find a safe place to report from.

lostmous3:

A day at a peaceful protest in Ferguson, Missouri

notacatchdonnie:

"when you really like someone you can start to become them"

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kuueater:

MY ULTIMATE CREATION

gigadramon:

montypla:

gigadramon:

montypla:

gigadramon:

i’m sad ‘cause when i went swimming today the 5 foot part went all the way up to my eyes and i had to stand on my toes to breath 

i’m being discriminated against dangnabbit 

hahah you’re short

hahah i’m gonna stab you in the neck

If you can even reach my neck

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here i come motherfucker

pocketpsychologist:

seaminglycomplex:

This is the best ASL Bucket Challenge I’ve seen so far.

what had me cracking up was the way the mask deflated at the end

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
taco-bell-rey:

my favorite

taco-bell-rey:

my favorite

laurenashleybishop:

clyde hated the long ride to get tampons from the market for his wife, but at least the scenery was beautiful.

laurenashleybishop:

clyde hated the long ride to get tampons from the market for his wife, but at least the scenery was beautiful.